Big Red Goes Green - Part 4

As the Island of Misfit Electronics sank beneath the rising icy waters, Big Red, Mrs. C and I headed for an escape hatch. Then each of us was whisked away through a series of green and red chutes and spirals that slid us toward the waiting elf-boats below. While I skidded through the loops and corkscrews, I saw hundreds of tiny elves taking the same route to get out of the factory before it was inundated by the arctic sea.

Two dozen elf-boats made their way to Big Red’s headquarters, which was actually a refurbished cruise ship tethered to the North Pole. I checked the name of the ship we were boarding and found it didn’t instill confidence. The huge vessel was dubbed S.S. Elftanic.

“There it is,” Big Red said, frustration dripping from his voice like an end-of-season icicle in the sun. “That’s what’s left of my factory and home. When we learned the ice caps were melting and the seas were rising faster than anyone predicted, we  transferred all of our operations from the toy factory to that big boat just in case of an emergency. Now that ancient palace and toy factory that has supplied Christmas presents for generations is no more!”

“At least we rescued the reindeer,” Mrs. C said.

“Only because the silly things can fly!” Big Red replied bitterly.

A tugboat filled with polar bears passed by. One of them waved a paw sadly.

“It seems to me that brilliant toymakers who can travel at light speed so you’re able to deliver toys and presents in a single night to billions of people should also be able to figure out how to stop this global warming crisis,” I said, exhibiting my own frustration.

“Yes, you’d think so,” Big Red gravely admitted. “But there are just some problems that take more effort than one or two people can contribute. I mean, Mrs. C and I are doing everything we can to solve this problem, but we need practically everybody else on the planet to wake up and get involved.”

“This electronic waste problem we were speaking of shortly before the Island of Misfit Electronics went under,” Mrs. C. added, “That’s a problem that requires awareness and action by millions of people and business enterprises. It’s not just something that goes away like the winter snows during a spring thaw. This electronic waste problem is getting worse every day.”

I agreed as I watched a trawler laden with electronic components roam by on its way to a developing nation to dump its load. A herd of caribou in a rowboat tried to hitch a ride, but the trawler ignored them.

“But what can we do?” Big Red asked, again wringing his hands in his tangled beard.

“To start with, people and businesses have to understand that Christmas is a time when people are eager to receive new electronics, such as computers and other high-tech devices. But they should put as much care and thought into what happens to their old electronics,” I told them.

“We should continue by seeing what we can do to extend the life of existing equipment, whether than comes in the form of refurbishing computers so we can continue to use them ourselves or donating them to benefit charitable organizations. If equipment can be recycled, its parts should be utilized or disposed of in a way that guarantees they won’t wind up in a landfill or be shipped to another country that has no disposition laws or regulations.”

“Although there is an increasing number of states and localities that are enacting and enforcing e-waste laws, even in places that have not acknowledged the e-waste crisis there are reputable resources for handling the disposition of electronics. People cannot simply toss end-of-lifecycle equipment into a trash can and expect the problem to disappear. The e-waste crisis is everyone’s problem and every person must recognize what they can - and must - do to make the world a better place,” I said.

“That’s quite a sermon,” Big Red replied with a chuckle; the first time I’d really heard him laugh since his elves had brought me to the now defunct Island of Misfit Electronics. He walked me to the deck of the ship where the bus was parked. There was a reindeer at the wheel again and elves were boarding. All of them carried an armful of brightly wrapped presents. One of the gifts, I noticed, featured a tag addressed to me. I hoped it wasn’t something electronic.

“I hear what you’re saying and we’re all going to do what we can to contribute to new awareness and understanding that e-waste is a global problem requiring the efforts of millions of people,” Big Red said. “Thanks for all of your help. Please continue to share the message – we need all the help we can get!”

“There’s just one more thing I’d like to suggest,” I said as I prepared to board the magical bus back to the real world.

“What’s that?” asked Big Red.

“Can you see about coming up with some alternative fuel source to put in bad kids’ stockings? That coal can get awfully messy.”