Big Red Goes Green - Part 3

“As you probably know,” Big Red continued from his perch amid the recycled computer components strewn about his workshop on the Island of Misfit Electronics. “My business partner has been hard at work on many of our eco-friendly innovations in recent years, while I’ve tried to maintain the old holiday traditions."

"In fact,” he went on, placing a finger to the side of his bulbous red nose, “Mrs. C. has been writing a manual for restructuring our organization along more impressive lines of environmental stewardship. We can use those guidelines throughout our organization and even to help our customers in the supply chain. These guidelines are helping to increase environmental awareness among the elves and enabling customers and vendors to understand how we all contribute to the big picture.”

“I see. Sort of an elf-help book,” I said with a smirk.

Brownie, the big enforcer elf who was still standing behind me with a locomotive dangerously balanced in his hand like a grenade, grunted at my meager joke. Big Red raised an eyebrow and Brownie suddenly became more interested in the curly-toed shoe that was missing a bell.

“Could I talk to your business partner?” I asked and Big Red readily agreed, tapping an intercom switch on a nearby console with a candy cane. A voice on the opposite end of the system replied sweetly.

“Mrs. C? Could you come over here for a minute?” Big Red asked. “I’ve got an old friend who would like to see you. We’re in the control center for the factory on the Island of Misfit Electronics.”

“Certainly, dear,” said Mrs. C in a patient tone. “But it’ll have to wait a minute. I’ve got sixty thousand cookies in the oven right now.”

While we waited for Mrs. C to wade over from the confectionary subsidiary on a nearby island floating on a puddle of ice, Big Red told me about many of the objectives his business partner had devised to help make the holidays more ecologically friendly while no less festive. A lot of the ideas had little to do with his electronics dilemma, but hinted at some of the basic holiday trappings and traditions.

It was clear that both Mrs. C and Big Red realized that every aspect of environmental stewardship contributes to the so-called Big Picture, whether we’re redirecting a single end-of-lifecycle computer away from a landfill or reducing the energy used to operate a huge data center. One merely needs to look at the small details, he confirmed.

“Wrapping paper,” Big Red said hopefully. “Mrs. C discovered that we could help the global environment by using recycled wrapping paper. Not just wrapping made from recycled paper, but by saving paper that was used previously on gifts. There’s no reason pretty paper should be disposed after it has served its purpose. It can be used again, just like a lot of electronics can be refurbished for longer life. Plus, Mrs. C has researchers looking into alternative wrapping paper sources, such as paper bags and pages from the Sunday newspaper comics section. With all of my traveling, I suggested using old maps to wrap presents, and a lot of children are using drawings they created in school for wrappings.”

“All are good ideas,” I admitted. “But what if you went with a ‘wrap-less’ alternative? As pretty as a package looks under a tree, there’s really no reason why every present must be wrapped.”
Big Red thought about it and nodded.

“The iconic tree itself bothers me,” Big Red went on. “It’s one of our finest traditions, the Christmas tree. I’m all for tree farming, but it pains me to realize that more than 32 million trees are cut each year in the U.S. alone to satisfy this tradition. That’s a lot of oxygen depletion, especially after Mrs. C’s researchers told me that satellite imaging revealed this year that Hurricanes Katrina and Rita killed 320 million trees in Mississippi and Louisiana!”

“That’s a good argument for using artificial trees,” I agreed. “People can also just donate the cost of a real tree to an organization that plants trees. And if they are not among the 53 million Americans who celebrate with artificial trees, they should be sure to reduce the environmental impact by recycling their live trees at composting facilities after the holidays.”

“I like that idea,” said Big Red. “I’m also encouraging people to use light-emitting diode lights on their trees this year. LED lights last a lot longer than conventional tree lights and they use 90-percent less energy.”

“What are you boys talking about?” Mrs. C said as she entered the room. She was a pleasant woman wearing a sharp red business suit dusted with flour. She embraced me as I greeted her, then looked at her business partner. “Tomorrow, it’s your turn to work with the kitchen staff. We need about forty thousand fruitcakes.”

Big Red acknowledged the large order with a sparkling grin. “I was just telling our old friend here about ways to make Christmas more eco-friendly.”

Mrs. C matched his kindly smile. “Well, many people express their love through gifts they make themselves, rather than purchasing mass-produced commodities from a big box store or expecting Big Red to deliver brand-name merchandise. Lots of people create gifts of cookies, pies, bread or holiday cakes. They knit socks and sweaters. Some people build furniture or crafts in their own workshops, while others volunteer their time to help neighbors decorate their homes or to perform some community tasks, such as picking up litter on an empty lot. Those are suitable holiday gifts as well, and they help the environment too.”

“But what about the millions of tons of electronics that are going to show up under Christmas trees this year?” added Brownie, who surprisingly had pocketed the toy train and was listening intently to our conversation. “There are a lot of people – elves included - who will get new computers, cell phones, high-definition TVs, and other electronics this year. That means a lot of those people will be getting rid of old electronics and not everybody realizes that they can’t just toss computers or TVs in a trash container any more. Many states, cities and towns have banned electronics from landfills and more legislation is under consideration. So what are we going to do about all that stuff?”

Before any of us could answer, there was a sudden creaking noise that erupted from beneath the wooden floorboards of the factory. The entire building shifted uneasily and we found ourselves sliding along the floor toward a big bank of windows, and then back the other way toward the toppling stacks of packages the elves had been handling. Big Red looked with alarm at Mrs. C, who scrambled to punch a button on the nearby intercom console.

“Attention all elves. Attention all elves!” she shouted, her voice echoing throughout the huge facility. “Abandon factory! We’re sinking! All elves to the elf-boats now!”

Read Part 4 – the conclusion - of Big Red Goes Green on Friday!