Tomorrow’s News Today

DATELINE: Dallas Atoll, Aug. 21, 2027 – Security analysts today reported yet another case of stolen data from the identity chips implanted in more than 10 million U.S. citizens. Instead of the more common drive-by mega-hacking that has become common in larger U.S. cities such as New Surfside City, Nev. and the nation’s capital, Indianapolis Island, today’s theft occurred when an employee of MicroGooglezon inadvertently left his nanorobotic armtop computer behind at a McStarDonbuck’s restaurant.

The newspaper article arrived in my inbox with little fanfare. It was sent to me by my future self in care of T-mail (Slogan: E-mail that travels through time!). It’s nice to know that 20 years down the road I’ll still have an interest in topical news coverage.

According to this article, from the Murdock-owned Wall Street New York Times Journal Maxim Hologram News, detachable armtop computing will be the next big thing, where the current move to implant chips in human appendages goes to the next logical step. You’ll never miss a text message or a hologram when your PC is part of your body.

But it seems people still will be careless in the future. They’ll stop off for a $40 cup of coffee at the satellite hub and walk off leaving their fingers plugged into the wi-fi battery portal. Forgotten and mishandled will be billions of gibibits of personal client data in a single pinky hair follicle.

And as technology changes, so will the face of data theft. Just yesterday the primary off-network security concern was stolen laptops. Now it’s progressed to USB devices and iPhones. Tomorrow it will be loose nanoprobe ports in our thumbs and TheyPhones.

It’s not too difficult to spy down the road and see what we can expect in the years to come. It’s scary and cool to be able to look up the line and see what’s coming. As the article continues:

In related news, 260 representatives of ConglomaComm and several smaller companies were held accountable for not complying with federal and state customer data security and privacy laws this week. Failure to comply with the updated Sarbanes-Oxley-McGillacudy-Ursus-Calhoun-Harris-Thompson-Rhubarbe-Ovalteen-U2-Billingsly-Lorax-Elbow (SOMUCHTROUBLE) Act of 2019 is punishable by fines of up to $10 trillion and mandatory sentences of not less than 20 years in a lunar labor camp.

Looking forward to the past, it’s clear that issues of data security, privacy and compliance grow more important with each passing day. Data security will continue to be compromised. Companies will miss opportunities because they failed to protect their data in transit. Identities will be stolen and corporate reputations will rise and fall according to how well enterprises protect the data entrusted to them.

Luckily, no matter how technology challenges our security, there will be ways to protect data and help companies hang on to what is important to them and their customers.

Meanwhile, in E-Waste City …